I was just walking down the street and a noticed business card on each windshield….
I take a look at one:
BioPerformance
A pill you drop in ANY fuel tank that gives you up to
35% more mpg while cleaning the air you breathe.
EPA Approved!!
Will not harm your vehicle - GUARANTEED!
www.beano.mybpbiz.com*
——————————————————————
Who knew? Who knew he was weirdly legit?
End of story…..
* I think I just found my new career.
So. I’m just hanging out, cleaning and packing - I’m going to Sacramento tomorrow. Bonnie and Rich are workin’ The Punchline and I’m going.
Do some stand up, y’know? Come out..
So - cleaning, packing, watching “Primetime”…later, half listening to the news.
Naomi Campbell arrested for throwing her phone at someone…I wish I was a phone thrower deep down.
Then I remember that my bike is still outside from earlier today. So I figure I’ll go get it and ride to the store for a treat or diet coke or something. Then get back, drag the bike upstairs, go to bed.
I’m exhausted.
Bike is locked to a street lamp post. As I’m unlocking it I noticed a man walk up to the car right next to me. He reaches for the driver’s side door handle, tries to open it…..then stops. Walk towards the car parked behind it (cars are lined all both sides of the street) and heads towards that cars drivers side…
It’s @ 11:45pm. Dark. Pretty chilly.
I laugh, “Oh. I’ve done that before!!”
I thought that he had gone to the wrong car, and that’s something I’ve done many a time. Especially with a rental car. I’ve gotten in wrong vehicle before…
Anyway, dude just keeps going up to car after car, crossing back and forth across the street. Each time he tries to open the driver door. And each time it’s locked then he moves onto the next..
Shit…I start thinking that maybe he’s homeless and cold. Or something…I look closer in the dark and notice a stoagie between his teeth…
Should I throw my phone at him?
Finally I get on my bike and cycle a bit closer to him and his door thingy.
“Sir. Are you looking for something?”
He’s about 6 feet from me, and kinda hard to see in the dark.
He laughs. “Oh. I’m just playing a joke”
He holds up his hand to show me something. It looks as if he’s got an invisible, tic tac like object between his thumb and index finger.”
“You see, I’m very giving and I like to help people out by putting this”….holds up tic tic ,….”in people’s gas tanks. For free. It’s a gas saver and engine cleaner. Yup, I’ve used it myself. Yesterday I got 30 to 40 more miles to the gallon. Cleans out the whole system!”"
What?!? I look at him. “Oh really, well I don’t think you should use a stranger’s car for this…behaviour. Besides, how come I’ve never heard of it before?”
He just spins on his heels and walks away, back to his midnight quest. I start to cycle towards the store.
I hear him yell back to me, “It’s good for the whole atmosphere!!”
Stoagie dangling from his lip the entire time…
And here I was thinking it was good for only 25% of the atmosphere…
Note: I never actually see him near a gas tank during this whole exchange. Strange.
1. Not sure about Attell doing the show…I’ll find out
2. To Erik Anthony - I hope there are many, many Tributes all over….
I don’t know of any closer to you at the moment…Sorry bub!
Please Note: I don’t really have much to do with the putting on/producing this Tribute…Louis Lee (from Acme Comedy Club) and Rich Miller (RCM Comedy) and The Hedbergs in Minneapolis are producing it mainly…
It’ll be a great show!!! Get your tickets ASAP!!!
Baby Isleen, Boston 2005: One of our many, beautiful nieces….She called me “Inn” and Mitch “Ish”…then she would stroke her cheek….pointing out Mitch’s long hair and whiskers….
I love this picture…”SoreLoser” from The Memorial Board drew this…
This one (of many brilliant pics) is done by Mark Collins A.K.A Killastrator….he’s amazing… for real…..(did the artwork for the memorial t-shirt)….
How amazing is this? By Erik AKA Eavila.
Eavila and Calvin - I hope yer cool with putting yer pics in there. If not, lemme know.
Okay. This is what I know so far.
Mitch Hedberg Tribute
The Orpheum, Minneapolis
April 30th
With:
Dave Mordal
Nick Swartzen
Mike Burbiglia
Lynn Shawcroft
Bonnie Mcfarlane
Patton Oswald
and some other great acts!!
More performers TBA
Tickets are available from Ticketmaster - $35 (plus Ticket Master $)
This is a benefit - proceeds going to various charities.
NOTE: This event is being produced by Louis Lee (Acme Comedy Club) and Rich Miller (RCM Comedy).
ALSO:
April 4th at Jokers in Milwaukee, WI
With:
Douglas Stanhope
Andy Andrist
Sean Rouse
Mr. Arthur Hinty!!!!
The Skyline Comedy Club
Appleton, WI
April 5-8th (I think)!
I just returned to ol’ Running Springs on Sunday….Snowstorm. There are cars everywhere buried in snow….Walking to my front door was almost impossible. Then, I dropped my keys today on the way to the store….it took forever to find them. I’m an idiot.
Thanks to Rachel from Myspace!!! She had it on her profile and she let me ’steal’ it..
